Frequently Asked Questions
Separation and divorce can be intimidating and confusing. You may have many questions and some discomfort. Here we address the most common concerns. If you have other questions, we invite you to contact our office.
What Can I Expect from Mediation?
You can expect a respectful process in which each person gets to share their hopes and goals, their interests for resolution, full participation and understanding of the issues, and resolution in a mutually satisfactory way.
Mediation is a client-centered process. When working with mediation clients, Diane focuses on matters that are most important to you and your family. As a mediator, Diane is a neutral facilitator of difficult conversations that are required to negotiate all of the terms of your separation. The issues that can be addressed in mediation are:
Mediation is a client-centered process. When working with mediation clients, Diane focuses on matters that are most important to you and your family. As a mediator, Diane is a neutral facilitator of difficult conversations that are required to negotiate all of the terms of your separation. The issues that can be addressed in mediation are:
- All financial issues including cash flow for each partner and division and equalization of assets, including savings, pensions, stocks, vehicles, real estate, etc.
- Determining possession and/or transfer of title, or sale of the family home if there are dependent children are involved,
- Developing a Child centered parenting plan
- Determining financial support for children and their activities
- If there are pets involved, determining ownership and or care responsibilities
Is Mediation Less Expensive Than Other Processes for Resolving Family Law Issues? |
Mediation can be a very cost-effective approach to resolving issues pertaining to your separation and divorce. There are several ways that Diane conducts mediations, and how they are conducted can impact the cost.
In terms of other processes, if clients are resolving their issues through an adversarial approach, either through traditional negotiations or resorting to court, mediation almost always is less expensive. Even if, in rare instances, all issues are not resolved in mediation, there can be financial savings in resolving some issues and having very narrow issues that require intervention by other processes.
Remember, conflicts cost! The costs can be financial, emotional, and the amount of time it takes for resolution. Diane asked proactively to de-escalate conflict and to facilitate respectful conversations that focus on what is at the heart of the dispute and generating options to help resolve the issues.
- Lawyer assisted mediation: when each person has engaged their lawyer to be present during the mediation they will typically pay the hourly rate for their lawyer, and split the hourly rate of the mediator. This can still be cost-effective when the mediator is able to manage the conversations, listen to the goals of the clients, and resolve issues more quickly than in an adversarial negotiation, or in court.
- Mediation without lawyers: this is a very common approach to mediation, which can be cost-effective because each partner is paying half of the mediators hourly rate, to resolve all issues.
In terms of other processes, if clients are resolving their issues through an adversarial approach, either through traditional negotiations or resorting to court, mediation almost always is less expensive. Even if, in rare instances, all issues are not resolved in mediation, there can be financial savings in resolving some issues and having very narrow issues that require intervention by other processes.
Remember, conflicts cost! The costs can be financial, emotional, and the amount of time it takes for resolution. Diane asked proactively to de-escalate conflict and to facilitate respectful conversations that focus on what is at the heart of the dispute and generating options to help resolve the issues.
Is Mediation the Same as Collaborative Law?
No. Collaborative law is a consensual dispute resolution process that utilizes a team approach to assisting the family in resolving all issues. The collaborative team is comprised of the collaborative lawyers that represent each person and is there advocate, a neutral family professional, who can assist in parenting plans and coaching around emotional issues, and a neutral financial professional who gathers financial information, can provide business valuations when necessary, and other support around financial issues important to the family. Each person has their lawyer engaged in negotiations throughout the process providing ongoing legal advice and working with the professional team to help problem solve issues that arise in the family. A collaborative approach is extremely effective if there is high conflict, distrust of the other person, or power imbalances whether they be interpersonal or financial.
Mediation is also a consensual dispute resolution process, in which the mediator is neutral regarding all issues and assists both people sort through all of the issues that need to be addressed in a separation agreement. The difference is that there is not a full team, and the mediator does not give legal advice to either person. Even though Diane worked as a family law lawyer for many years, she does not provide legal advice to mediation clients. When both people in the mediation are prepared to engage and have difficult conversations without lawyers in the room, (is or virtual room), mediation may be the better fit as it can be less expensive, easier to schedule meetings, and resolve sooner.
Mediation is also a consensual dispute resolution process, in which the mediator is neutral regarding all issues and assists both people sort through all of the issues that need to be addressed in a separation agreement. The difference is that there is not a full team, and the mediator does not give legal advice to either person. Even though Diane worked as a family law lawyer for many years, she does not provide legal advice to mediation clients. When both people in the mediation are prepared to engage and have difficult conversations without lawyers in the room, (is or virtual room), mediation may be the better fit as it can be less expensive, easier to schedule meetings, and resolve sooner.
Do I Need a Lawyer if We Proceed with Mediation?
It is always advisable to have independent legal counsel available to advise you as issues arise during mediation, but some people choose not to do this. In mediation, Diane will canvas all the legal issues that need to be dealt with in your separation agreement, however as a neutral facilitator, Diane does not give either person legal advice and each person is strongly encouraged to review their separation agreement with their lawyer, for ILA (Independent Legal Advice) when the agreement is signed. The lawyer will also sign a certificate of independent legal advice indicating that they have reviewed the agreement with the client and are satisfied that the client understands the nature and consequences of the agreement.
What are the Steps in Mediation?
- Intake and screening: Before any mediation begins, the mediator will meet individually with each person for individual screening and intake. These individual meetings are an opportunity for the mediator to learn about the issues from that person’s perspective, and understand family dynamics that could impact the negotiation, or to allow the mediator, or the clients to ensure that this is a process that is suitable for them.
- The mediator will schedule the first joint meeting, and the terms of the mediation agreement are reviewed and signed, or if a virtual meeting, assented to during the meeting and circulated for electronic signatures afterward.
• During the first meeting, the clients will share their important hopes and goals for the process with each other and the mediator.
• The clients will confirm the date of separation.
• The clients will agree on a format for exchanging complete financial disclosure with guidance from the mediator.
• The next meeting date is agreed to. - Usually during the second meeting finances are reviewed if complete or the parenting plan will be discussed if that is an issue. It’s all about what is a priority for the couple.
- Subsequent meetings are finalizing agreements around equalization of property, possession of the family home, cash flow and support issues, division of retirement savings, caring for pets, and all other issues that are particular to that family’s needs.
- After all terms have been agreed to, a draft agreement will be prepared and shared with the clients to review and finalize with their respective lawyers.
How Long Does Mediation Take?
The pace of the negotiations and mediation are largely controlled by the couple, and their readiness to participate, and provide disclosures necessary to resolve all issues. The greater the complexity, the more information that needs to be gathered and the more discussion takes place in order to resolve the issues. If there are complex financial matters that need to be resolved, Diane may recommend a neutral financial professional to help collect and or address financial issues. Most mediation sessions with Diane and both people are scheduled for approximately two hours at a time. Depending on the needs of the couple and their emotional energy to proceed, sometimes meetings can go longer. If children are involved, there may be more time spent on parenting plans and determining how to support them financially. If one or both people own a business, there could be extra time discussing how those finances will be resolved.
Typical mediations run 3 to 6 meetings after the initial screening meetings, although this can vary depending on the needs of the family.
Typical mediations run 3 to 6 meetings after the initial screening meetings, although this can vary depending on the needs of the family.
How Much Does Mediation Cost?
The cost of the mediation is generally influenced by the following factors:
Conflict Costs! The more the couple engages in conflict, the more time is spent in mediation and caucusing with Diane, and fees go up. However, resolving conflicts in mediation can be more cost-effective than engaging in a high conflict adversarial process, such as attending court. Sometimes a lot of good work can be done in mediation to de-escalate the conflict which can save you money. Even if, in rare occasions, not all of the issues are resolved in the mediation due to high conflict, many of the issues can be resolved so that only very narrow issues require intervention of other processes, which again, saves you money.
- Readiness to negotiate-are both people ready for meetings and prepared for each meeting?
- Complexity of the issues
- Each person’s willingness to compromise as required to have a mutually acceptable outcome
- If children are involved, the parents’ willingness to address complex dynamics, protect the children from conflict, engage in respectful discourse, to take steps necessary to improve parenting skills and/or communication between parents, etc.
Conflict Costs! The more the couple engages in conflict, the more time is spent in mediation and caucusing with Diane, and fees go up. However, resolving conflicts in mediation can be more cost-effective than engaging in a high conflict adversarial process, such as attending court. Sometimes a lot of good work can be done in mediation to de-escalate the conflict which can save you money. Even if, in rare occasions, not all of the issues are resolved in the mediation due to high conflict, many of the issues can be resolved so that only very narrow issues require intervention of other processes, which again, saves you money.